Revision Points for studio review

The major highlights from what feedback I received is my rough draft is very rough!Moving forward, my aim is to make everything clearer my explaining my topics further in depth and making sure I highlight key points like target audience, the purpose, and organizing my thoughts about my analysis a bit clearer.  Huge point that I am taking to consideration is to what my argument is for the analysis. Everything is rough at this point but the feedback I’ve been given is super informative. Also answering questions brought forth is also helpful. A question asked was “what makes these video games so appealing?” answering that would be a strong point to hit as well.